Friday, November 10, 2006

I Couldn't Make This Stuff UP, Part II.....

Last week I ordered this sweater online. It looked like a nice, modest sweater to get "cleaned up" in. Now we all know that the necklines this year have plunged to new depths, but look at the picture. Modest, no?

The sweater arrived via UPS. I tried it on. The fit is very good, but for a gal whom "Hidden Valley" means more than a salad dressing, it was too revealing. There's no way I could do anything but stand up ramrod straight and maintain my dignity in this sweater.

So I headed to the store to buy myself one of these:

I figured a nice little band of lace across the expanse would meet my requirements for modesty.

It was a warm sunny day (one of the few these past 6 weeks) so I headed out in a cotton long sleeve T-top. Upon arriving in the lingerie section all of the camisoles were hanging from these little posts sticking out from the wall....5 tiers of them. I browsed through the display at eye level and below, and these sizes were all for women who barely need a bra.

I need a bra. In fact, I need a relatively substantial bra, with underwires, for garments to fit well.

So I looked up. There on the tippy top two tiers were the 38+ camisoles. The store is somewhat lacking in customer service (aren't they all these days?) So I leaned forward on tippy toe to reach up and grasp a size that might fit.

As I was up on my toes, lifting and reaching, I felt something catch in my middle front. It was one of those display hooks at the lower level and it hooked front and center under the band of my underwire bra. Startled, I lowered my heels back to the floor which gave that hook a better purchase and it tugged my bra up over "the girls".

There I stood in the middle of the store at 10:00 AM looking like the four boobed monster under my T-shirt. The dressing room in lingerie is locked, with a sign telling me to go across the sales floor to Misses Wear.

Every other day in the past week I would have at least had a coat on. I just decided to stand facing the camisoles with my back to the sales floor and try to get everything back in proper position. It was then I noticed the little metal reacher they had tucked away in the corner of the display....grrr.

Shortly thereafter another woman, around my age and with similar fit problems came up to the camisoles and looked up at where her size would be. She looked at me and said, "Now why do they always put my size way out of reach." I looked at her and said, "For entertainment." I told her what happened and she laughed 'til tears came. I handed her the reacher.

BTW, a camisole works very nicely under the sweater. I wore it yesterday.


  1. Ha! ha! Good story Val... I liked this one!

  2. LOL! Paco Underhill talks about this a lot - if retailers were smart, they'd put the mascara on the top shelf, and put the wrinkle cream at eye level. I've been looking at stores in a whole new way since I read his books.

  3. Anonymous4:09 PM

    After we hung up this afternoon, I talked with Jean and she asked me if I read your blog and she started laughing. Said she laughed till the tears rolled down her cheeks last night.So I had to come in and read it. Good job---wish I were a mouse in the corner!!!!!

  4. Oh, this story is hilarious! Too funny. I'm glad it all ended well.

  5. I was in a rush the other day, skimmed posts. I am still chuckling over your story - thought you would like to know you were on my mind when I went bra shopping. All mine were on the lowest shelf so I had to stoop to get them. Nothing shifted.

  6. Being a bottom shelf type of gal, the only time I had anything substanial to show off was when I was nursing twins. It was almost like garden fresh produce, enjoy it while you can because you know that it won't last. Great story. Thanks for sharing


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